Food pyramid

The recently developed "Food and Drug Guide Pyramid" is not the "Five Basic Food Groups" that we were taught in elementary school. (Note the ascending order of importance as one travels down the pyramid, all the way to luscious, luscious crack.)

Nutritional Information

"At Crack In The Box we have one mission: to create the most exciting, best tasting, highest quality fast drugs anywhere." -Crack

Variety, balance, and moderation are key components to maintaining a healthy diet, according to the Crack in the Box "1996 Quality & Nutrition Guide." Taking a balanced variety of drugs in addition to your food intake will provide the right amount of each nutrient the human body requires and/or would like to have. Moderate servings of these are not enough, but too much can be a bit dangerous.

1. Learn more about your body, such as the location of certain blood vessels.

Know your blood pressure and cholesterol levels and your weight. These are good indicators of how your diet is affecting your health, and a marker of how many bong loads you can handle before you just pass out.

2. Maintain a healthy supply of drugs stored away to save yourself from withdrawal symptoms later.

3. Eat a low-fat diet. You never know, all that fat might absorb the drug like a sponge, starving your brain and body.

4. Diets too high in crack have been linked to certain forms of death in laboratory and real world tests.

5. Smoke regularly.

Skipping fixes may lead to withdrawal symptoms, so always have a rock and an Official Crack Freebase Kit handy.

6. Make changes gradually. Don't go from snorting to injecting heroin in one weekend. Step up slowly from snorting to smoking. Then next weekend you can inject.

7. Stay away from fast food. That stuff'll kill ya!

Each of our products has been carefully analyzed and complete nutritional information has been compiled in Crack's Nutrition Facts.

This booklet is available upon request at any Crack In the Box Location.

As always, Crack In The Box uses only the best crack. One Jumbo Crack®, one Crack's Cracky Chicken, or any of our large drug-laced sandwiches provides you with 0% or 100% or the Government Recommended Daily Allowance, depending on how you look at it. With the Crack In The Box Recommended Daily Allowance, one large sandwich gives you 50%, so buy two!

Otto's Make n' Bake Pizza Banner

Crack's Back | Crack Roots | Crack "In The News" | Crack's Favorites

Crack-Mania | Crack's Kids | Nutritional Information | 'Food' Safety

Crack in the Box Locations | How To Contact Northwood Pharmaceutical | Credits

Crack In The Box Logo Poppyright © 1998
Northwood Pharmaceutical, Inc. All rights reserved.